


Takao Kazunari and the Worst Prank of All Time

by clockworkmoon



Series: Hogwarts verse [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 17:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3701037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockworkmoon/pseuds/clockworkmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takao decides to pull a prank on Midorima, involving a love potion and Shin-chan's annoyance with Murasakibara.<br/>All would be grand if not for the fact that Takao sucks at Potions, so everything kind of goes to hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Takao Kazunari and the Worst Prank of All Time

**Author's Note:**

> a lot of ideas are from [ mery's knb hogwarts au headcanons ](http://buttwade.tumblr.com/post/105369062802/mery-do-you-have-headcanons-about-hogwarts-houses), so thank you for allowing me to use them here, he.  
> This little story is terribly embarassing, and please don't ask me why Takao even thinks that using a love potion for a prank seemed to him like a good idea. But I guess he learns his lesson.
> 
> Also thank you Mery for beta~

After the third Astrology professor quits their job, exasperated McGonagall allows Shin-chan to take over the position. This is quite weird, since he is still a seventh year student, but then Riko has been coaching Quidditch for the past few years, and she’s been even younger back then.

Besides, Shin-chan is a good student, having perfect grades for all of his courses, so the Headmaster decides that, in order to try to avoid any further murder attempts on the unlucky Astrology teachers’ side, this may be the most sensible thing to do. Especially that the last professor didn’t just _think_ about offing Shin-chan. He actually ended up in Azkaban because he followed with his plan and nearly succeeded.

Even though everyone was quite scared when Shin-chan ended up in the hospital wing for a week, Takao – who obviously visited every day – was delighted. It would be a different story if Shin-chan was badly injured, but because it was just his pure-blood family pride that was mostly hurt, Takao never ceased to mock him for the most obvious, muggle way that the professor tried to get rid of Shin-chan.

Besides, it was mostly Shin-chan’s fault he even felt for this ploy in the first place. It’s not like Takao didn’t offer him to watch all his favorite criminal shows when he invited himself over Shin-chan’s during their summer holidays. But Shin-chan being Shin-chan just scoffed at the idea, so here they were – scowling Shin-chan wrapped up in sheets in the hospital bed, and Takao laughing his ass off every few hours, that is until Madame Pomfrey throws him out for disturbing the patient’s peace.

Today is the last day of Shin-chan’s stay in the infirmary, and he’s packing his things, pretending to be ignoring Takao, while Takao fills him up on the latest funny stories and gossip. His mouth twitches now and then, though, and Takao is eyeing him amusedly as he tries even more to spice up his stories.

Their heads shoot up when there are thumping noises followed by a loud banging and crashing behind the corridor. Shin-chan frowns with disdain when a chocolate frog slowly crawls to their side of the hall and then jumps onto Shin-chan’s bed. They can hear Madame Pomfrey telling someone off, and then she proceeds to bang the doors behind them.

Takao leans back from his char by Shin-chan’s bed to grin at her when she appears in their line of vision.

“Was that some sort of assault? Any new professors trying to kill our Shin-chan?” he teases, and grins wider when Midorima huffs, offended by his light tone.

“I will have you know this is a serious matter, Takao. I could’ve been gravely injured, and that foolish teacher should’ve ended up in prison way earlier, for all the atrocities he was trying to pass to us as serious Astrology knowledge,” Midorima seethes through gritted teeth. Takao just beams at him.

“It wasn’t any new threat to your health, Mr. Midorima,” Madame Pomfrey sighs, and Takao laughs out loud when he notices her tired expression. Seems like Shin-chan managed to wear down even someone as stable and stoic as their school nurse. Good one. “It was Mr. Murasakibara, who crashed into my trolley while he was chasing one of his chocolate frogs.”

Takao laughs, easily imagining the half-giant seventh year being so absorbed by his chase that he runs into Madame Pomfrey’s trays, breaking her potions’ bottles and sending her scissors and crazily-looking mixtures all over the floor.

“This person is a disgrace. Who on Merlin’s grave chases after idiotic snacks without taking notice of their surroundings? He’s even worse than that damn Kuroko,” Midorima muses, looking outside the window and frowning at it, as if trying to make sure the glass is as offended by careless jogs around the castle as he is.

“I thought Kuroko was your nemesis,” Takao sing-songs, and smiles when Shin-chan lets out a breath.

“No, he just really annoys me. But Murasakibara is way worse, you know. He’s just a childish fool, and there’s nothing more dangerous than childishness. I’m quite surprised they didn’t throw him out yet, he’s a danger to himself and everyone around,” Shin-chan offers an explanation, and this rant sets something off in Takao’s mind.

“I’m quite sure, Mr. Midorima, that a boy running around the corridors is less dangerous than Dementors or muggle-inspired, blood-thirsting professors,” Madame Pomfrey chips in with a serious expression.

Midorima doesn’t reply but for an offended _hmph_ , but Takao’s eyes fill up with tears, and he laughs until Madame Pomfrey throws him out from the hospital wing. But he doesn’t really mind, since he’s sure Shin-chan’s ears went a bit red, and Madame Pomfrey’s lips curved up in a secret, small smile.

He is still giggling as he walks down to the Slytherin dungeons. When he walks by the Potion Master’s cabinet, he notices with surprise that the door is slightly open, so he risks a glance inside –  it’s empty. After looking around for few minutes and straining his ears to hear any incoming steps, he finally decides to raid the room. After all, this is the place where his perfect seed of a plan may have the chance to bloom into true hilarity, if he plays everything right.

Grinning like a madman, he focuses hard on what they learnt a year or two years ago – which ingredients is he going to need? He quietly opens all cupboards with a swish of his wand, squinting hard and taking all the little bottles in. It was something pink, wasn’t it? He can’t remember for the life of him, and will probably have to end up digging one of the potion-brewing books.

Takao glances around, trying to locate any potion-making volumes. Once he notices one, he throws himself at it with a barely contained cry of relief, and quickly flicks through the worn out pages, until he finds the one he needs.

He doesn’t want to brew Amorentia – he remembers it’s very strong, and besides, it would make Shin-chan obsess over _him_ , and this is not his point. He needs to make fun of Shin-chan, and he needs him to follow and confess his undying love to someone absolutely unexpected, and someone Shin-chan despises to that. Maybe Akashi? He cringes. Even he isn’t as cruel as to make Akashi the focus of short-term obsession for anyone, be it his best friend, or a random wizard or witch.

“Kuroko or Murasakibara it is, then,” Takao muses to himself absent-mindedly, flipping through the pages until he stumbles upon a very interesting potion indeed.

“ _\- the branch of love potions, it allows the brewer to decide on the person of potion’s focus. Making of this potion is considered to be extremely difficult, since it unites skills needed for both Amorentia and Polyjuice Potion – but due to the level of difficulty, it allows the brewer to choose the focus of this potion, which is its unique quality, differentiating this potion from all other love potions,_ ” Takao mutters to himself, a slow smile spreading on his face.

He skims over the text once again, just to make sure that he understands the effects well enough, and to check if he will be able to gain all the ingredients. He squints unhappily, realizing the time to brew this may stretch up to even one week. But, this is going to be _so_ worth it, even if he has to spent half of his time running to any of the abandoned bathrooms to watch over the cauldron every few hours.

He’s overjoyed – this plan is flawless, and it will be so amusing to watch Shin-chan be over the moon for hated by him Murasakibara! Takao briefly considered Kuroko, but he’s pretty sure the moment the Gryffindor finds out about this, Takao would be screwed. There aren’t many people Takao is scared of, but he’s pretty sure Kuroko’s wrath would’ve destroy him.

Even with his amazing sight and overall great awareness of his surrounding, he lets himself to be sneaked upon, and he jumps up when he hears a monotonous voice in his ear.

“Takao-kun, I’m pretty certain you managed to get as close to Midorima-kun as it was humanly possible. I wouldn’t take you for one that needs to brew love potions. But if you wish me to, I may help,” Kuroko looks at him expressionlessly, but Takao has known him for seven years now, and won’t fall for it. He teases people too often to not know when he’s being teased, thank you very much.

“It’s not for me! I mean, if I wanted Shin-chan to fall for me, I would use my natural charms. There’s plenty of that, so there’s no need for silly love potions. Even Shin-chan wouldn’t resist my flirting,” Takao confides in Kuroko proudly, with eyes gleaming in mischief.

Kuroko looks at the open page, and after a moment Takao hears him say “I’m quite confident Midorima-kun has already felt effects of that, Takao-kun. Why do you need this potion, then, if I may ask?”

Takao grins, ignoring the first comment. “Curiosity killed the cat,” he replies, but then, he decides to tell Kuroko anyway, and thank Merlin for that.

Kuroko regards him quietly for few moments, nods, and politely offers his help. Obviously, Takao gratefully accepts – just because he’s a Slytherin, doesn’t mean he’s any good at Potions. He hates potions, usually – when it comes to them, he can’t muster even an inch of his natural observation and concentration. It’s different with Quidditch, or some other more thrilling classes where he’s able to focus his attention because stuff that’s happening in them is exciting – but watching for five minutes if the mud-like, disgusting liquid is gaining the right shade of green is quite boring.

And the worst part is definitely that since he’s been by Shin-chan’s side from the very first day at Hogwarts – he had to, Shin-chan refused to put on the Sorting Hat because it was his unlucky day, that was too hilarious,  _come on_ – so he was never really forced to learn Potions by himself. He can get by, he’s not stupid – but Shin-chan spoiled him rotten without even realizing. He always paired up with him, and just drove him mad until Shin-chan groaned in anger and just prepared Takao’s bloody potion by himself.

Takao wasn’t sure what was more hilarious – watching how offended Shin-chan huffed over the professor complimenting Takao on his potion, or listening to his rants about it afterwards.

But the thing is, his love potion plan was foolproof, that is, became even more foolproof with Kuroko’s offer.

* * *

 

Week after, Takao is sick of the stalls in the bathroom by the abandoned corridor located somewhere around the East Wing. He feels he should take a day-long shower to get rid of the stench of unused, but far from clean, urinals that seemed to be filling the air in their secret little potion brewery.

After Kuroko handles him ideally looking variation of the needed love potion, Takao whistles, massively impressed. “Thanks for your help, Kuroko. I don’t think I could do it on my own, it’s good a brave, intelligent Gryffindor decided to help a distressed Slytherin in the time of need.”

He grins as he carefully packs the little bottle inside his robe’s pocket. Kuroko just nods politely, and with a straight face, assures Takao he can’t wait to watch Midorima-kun to try helping his biggest love, Murasakibara-kun, to catch the escaping sweets all over the castle.

The mere idea left Takao in tears for minutes after, and he is still wiping them away as he makes his way up the Astronomy Tower, where he’s sure Midorima is still fussing about, checking all the weird things he talked himself into doing. Like facing all instruments west and putting a permanent spell onto the entrance that banns people who are least compatible with Cancers on that day from entering. Thankfully, Takao’s compatibility with Shin-chan’s sign today is high enough, so he swings the door open and looks around for his friend.

He can’t see him anywhere around, and feels like something is sinking slightly in his stomach. This is weird, because even though he can’t wait to witness the awesomeness that will be Midorima being infatuated with the person that annoys him the most besides Kuroko, and spending a week in smelly stalls was totally worth it, he still sort of missed Shin-chan. It’s just – being around Midorima is such an _experience,_ and an adventure in itself.

This person is so ridiculous, and Takao knows that, even if at first, he just followed him for this endless stream of hilarity, after all this time it doesn’t really matter anymore. Shin-chan still baffles him daily and is a great source for laughter, but spending seven sodding years together almost  attached by the hip does a thing to a person. He obviously doesn’t _fancy_ Shin-chan, or anything as incongruous (when the hell did he learn this sort of stuck-up vocabulary, must be Shin-chan’s fault). He’s just really used to Shin-chan’s constant presence by his side, to his never-ceasing butthurt over the world, to his little obsessions, and absurd decision-making processes. That’s as simple as that.

After a while, he finally hears Shin-chan’s loud voice.

“I don’t care what the professor said, get out of here this instant, your insufferable sluggard! It’s your private Seeker practice today, get to the captain this instant.” Midorima’s voice is coming closer now, but what follows is a sound of three pairs of legs climbing up the stairs. “Besides, you can’t just – do this, this indecent acts in here, just get to practice!”

“You can’t talk to me like that, you’re not a teacher,” Takao hears Aomine drawl, and grins at what’s coming next.

Midorima stops half-way and says in a very self-important tone. “I will have you know I officially became the Astrology teacher four and a half days ago, so yes, Aomine, I can talk to you like that. Now get out of here so I can set the place up for the incoming classes, and bear in mind I wish to never find you in this state again,” Midorima grits out.

Then, Takao takes in the best view of the day as they appear at the top of the ascending stairs – scowling, but slightly angry-red Midorima, who’s looking everywhere but at Aomine and Sakurai. Who are trying to fight their disheveled clothes, with Sakurai adjusting his tie with a spooked-out expression, and Aomine putting on his robes the wrong way. Takao’s grin widens.

Finally, Midorima’s words seem to get across to Aomine, who shoots his head up and scowls back at Shin-chan. “Wait, _you’re_ the teacher now? _Fuck me_ ,” he swears, frowning ugly.

“I think you’ve got that covered thanks to a helpful Hufflepuff,” teases Takao.

He smiles, regarding him and Sakurai, and wiggling his eyebrows. Sakurai yelps, his face going red, and bows, apparently too embarrassed to even utter his usual apology. Midorima looks at Aomine for a second.

“Five points from Slytherin for cussing, Aomine,” he says sternly.

Aomine gapes at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you? We are in the same house. You are still a student, why would you take away points from your _own_ house?!” Aomine drawls, face expressing nothing but angry confusion.

Sakurai just tugs at his boyfriend’s sleeve in order to drag him away, before he can get in even more trouble. Aomine snarls and dashes for the exit, managing to flip Midorima off before he stomps down the stairs.

“That’s five points more,” Midorima announces loudly, but Takao can’t hear Aomine’s reply, since he’s throwing himself in Shin-chan’s direction and congratulating him on the best slay of the day he has witnessed so far.

“Shin-chan, look! I brought you a cup of tea from the kitchens, since I know you must be pretty fed up,” Takao offers after a moment of silence, when Midorima was busy adjusting this or that weird instrument Takao has no intention learning about.

Shin-chan regards him with suspicion, but deciding against his better judgement, he takes the drink from Takao’s hands. He looks inside the cup with disdain.

“It smells vile, Takao,” he announces, but drinks from it anyway.

He must’ve been pretty thirsty, because he drinks half of the cup before the flavor hits his taste buds. He coughs, and puts the cup away with a loud _clank_. Then, he looks sharply at Takao.

“Is this some kind of a joke? Are you trying to poison me, Takao?” he demands, arms folding over his chest as he casts accusing glances at Takao.

Takao shrugs in response. “Sorry, Shin-chan. Was in a bit of a hurry, so I asked the elf to make it for you. I think it was Malka who was on duty,” Takao explains gleefully.

“Snotty house elves. Someone should throw them out of here already,” Midorima replies, nostrils flaring. “I wasn’t aware before that it is even possible to make a bad cup of tea, but having Malka prepare my food few times before, I don’t know why I should be surprised. Don’t they do some trials before they allow a house elf near the kitchens?” sighs Midorima, anger still lingering in his voice, but he seems way more disappointed than anything else.

Takao winces. Kuroko said the potion should take effect almost immediately, and should last for at least three hours. Which means he needs to steer Shin-chan nearer Murasakibara, and he needs to do it soon. Kuroko advised him to start with the kitchens.

“Shin-chan, why don’t you leave that for now, and let’s go to the kitchen so you can complain about Malka’s incompetence to her!”

Takao grabs Midorima’s arm, who flinches in response, then looks at Takao with a weird expression.

“Takao, I’m puzzled. You seem to be less foolish and more sensible today than, well, ever,” admits Midorima, and unconsciously allows himself to be manipulated into following Takao to the kitchens.

Takao gives the potion five minutes to start working, then, as soon as they are near the kitchens, where he can already hear house elves squealing  _Mr. Murasakibara-san, sir_ , _sir be sick if sir eat all the pumpkin pudding_ , he decides to start his game.

“So, Shin-chan! What do you think about Murasakibara?” he coos, fluttering his eyelashes at him.

Midorima is silent for a moment and he’s looking at Takao with an indescribable expression. “Why are you asking? I assure you I haven’t changed my opinion on that childish person since morning,” says Shin-chan crossly, and Takao sighs; apparently he will have to wait a bit longer for the potion to work, after all.

And suddenly, all hell breaks loose.

“But I think your eyes are of a very stunning colour,” adds Midorima in his most serious tone, and Takao misses the last few steps.

“W-what?” he asks after his heart starts beating again.

Thank Merlin, Shin-chan caught his arm so he didn’t fall over, but that left them in a quite weird position, with Shin-chan hovering over him as his right hand’s fingers dig painfully into Takao’s arm, and dragging him closer to make him more stable. Takao tells himself that his racing heart is the effect of his near-death experience of falling down the stairs, and has nothing to do with what Shin-chan just threw at him.

“It’s a shame that for a person with excellent sight, your hearing is very poor,” Shin-chan says, as if he didn’t just drop a huge bomb at Takao.

Takao gapes at him. Shin-chan eyes him levelly.

“I think I would like to kiss you,” Shin-chan says, matter of fact.

Takao still gapes at him, and Shin-chan frowns.

“I honestly don’t comprehend why am I that attracted to you, Takao. This expression doesn’t become you,” he informs Takao with a deepening frown. “But I guess it’s not that, it’s not the looks. I quite like it when you laugh.”

There is a bang of doors being closed, but Takao is too shocked to move. What is this? Did he and Kuroko fuck something up, and made a regular Amorentia, so Shin-chan ended up obsessing over him instead of his planned victim? But, if that was Amorentia, shouldn’t Shin-chan be more… hilarious? Trance like? Obsessive? He’s still quite level-headed, and apart from dropping all these love-struck revelations, he’s still being able to be snarky and offensive towards Takao, and that’s not how the love potions work!

Maybe if he sees Murasakibara he will refocus his attention-

“Midochin, have you seen Murochin anywhere? I’m bored,” comes the whining voice.

Takao takes in a sharp breath, and finally manages to move, glancing at the huge seventh year, and then looking back at  Shin-chan.

“No. Now let us pass, I need to have Malka give Takao something for his head. He’s acting pretty unusual today,” Midorima announces, and unceremoniously drags Takao to the kitchens.

Takao waves weakly at Murasakibara, who waves back, and walks in the direction of Hufflepuff rooms, unaware of the desperate stare that’s following his slouch figure.

 _All hope is lost, the end is nigh,_ Takao thinks dramatically, as all his good humor and fighting spirit leave him. He and Kuroko, they must’ve made a mistake, and now he’s stuck with Shin-chan who’s sort of-kind of under a love spell that doesn’t behave like a love spell. At least it doesn’t seem too strong, or too dangerous, so maybe he won’t have to report his little prank to anyone.

 _There’s one more thing to try,_ Takao thinks as he observes Midorima pacing fast from one elf to another, futilely trying to recognize which one of them is responsible for the horrible tea. He makes sure Shin-chan is busy somewhere in the far away corner, and he asks one of the elves for a piece of paper and anything to write – he gets a small knife with a thick, red sauce and a paper plate – and scribes down a messy, smelly note to Kuroko. He spells a quick _Tempus_ and finishes his note.

 

_Kuroko!,_

_I beg beg come to Slytherin dorms at 5pm our lil potion sucks ~~balls~~ this is the end help,_

_TK_

 

Kuroko surely takes his sweet, sweet time getting to the Slytherin common room. When he gets there, Takao quickly drags him upstairs, and pretends not to feel Kuroko’s quiet amusement, mostly because Takao is on the edge of a nervous breakdown, he swears on Merlin’s beard.

He just spent an hour listening to Shin-chan casually throwing revelations at him, such as how much he would like to kiss Takao, and lay down while holding hands. Then was a part about how he appreciates Takao as a great friend and companion, which was pretty nice, considering Shin-chan refers to him as his _servant_ eighty-nine percent of time. There was also something that started to sound alarmingly like a life union proposal, too, but Takao casted a panicked _Silencio_ to remain oblivious to at least this part of Shin-chan’s thoughts.

“Oh, Takao, you’re back. Kuroko.” Shin-chan winces, then locks eyes with Takao. “Takao, make him leave.” He waves a hand at the doors and turns away.

Takao huffs. “What? Shin-chan, first you behave like I’m your whole world, now you’re back to treating me like a lackey? I’m hurt,” Takao teases before he can stop himself. Why on Merlin’s beard can’t he stop running his stupid mouth for five minutes?

Midorima shifts on his bed, and slowly lifts his head to stare at Takao. “Have you lost your plot? How on earth can you believe I think of you as a servant for one second? I told you already, Takao, you are my closest friend. My only friend. I don’t need any friends, because people are horribly annoying, but I’m glad you’re with me,” says Midorima, and Takao nearly cries in confusion because these words don’t fit the angry scowl Shin-chan is wearing _at all_.

“Takao-kun, what’s the problem, then?” Kuroko suddenly asks, and Takao jumps – he completely forgot Kuroko was witnessing this embarrassing scene!

“Can’t you see what’s wrong? He’s being all– and I’m–” Takao tries to explain, gesturing wildly between himself and Shin-chan.

Kuroko just regards him coolly, glances at Midorima, then back at Takao. “Takao-kun, to me, this seems like your regular interactions. Midorima-kun may be a bit more… straight-forward, but this isn’t that different from every day. I need to leave now, I have practice with Kagami-kun,” says Kuroko, and there’s a small, almost invisible smile tugging at his lips at the mention of the Gryffindor Seeker.

“But as soon as I’m available, I will try to find out what’s happened to Midorima-kun. But I honestly don’t think this is too grave. And he’s really not acting that much different, think about it, Takao-kun,” he adds after few minutes.

Then he literally disappears, leaving stunned Takao to stare at the door.

“Fucking helpful the whole bunch of you,” he mutters to himself, and cringes at the sound of weariness and anger in his voice.

He doesn’t _do_ anger, this whole situation is bringing him down. This is way better punishment than any sort of detention he could get. And it’s not just that he’s pitying himself. He feels horrible for Shin-chan, too. He doesn’t know what sort of potion they gave him, but from an amusing, quick practical joke, this whole situation turned into a horrible embarrassment that both of them will have trouble living down.

 _And what the hell Kuroko even meant, saying this isn’t all that different from our usual conversations?_ , Takao ponders, as he slowly succumbs into madness, and sits next to Shin-chan’s bed, as he did not even a week ago in the hospital wing. But now he has Shin-chan’s hand laying close enough to touch Takao, but he never does, and Takao catches himself sort of wishing he would. Instead, Shin-chan just talk and talks and talks, never-ending stream of his words of appreciation for Takao.

There’s no love-talk now, it’s just raw flood of differently expressed _I’m really grateful-_ s _._ Some under a disguise of _My mother sends me letters everyday asking me if you are still by my side, and I always feel a bit relieved when I can tell her that you are,_ and even some silly _I knew from the moment I checked our sign compatibility we will be good_ , and _I think you are pretty amazing on the broom and I am glad we could’ve played all these years together._

At some point, Takao has no idea why, or how, and when, but he feels Shin-chan’s cautious fingers on his cheeks, and he breaths in sharply. This is a point of no return, so to say. He can either give in and never be able to go back, or just run away, as he likes to do when it comes to Shin-chan, and laugh, blame it on the joke, and then he can pretend he didn’t remember anything, especially if Shin-chan doesn’t remember anything, either.

Takao must be under some spell, too, because instead of moving away, or walking away, or telling him off, he climbs onto the bed with him, and puts his left hand over Shin-chan’s eyes.

“I think you won’t remember anything of this, since I figured it’s not a love potion, but I feel bad that you are saying all this embarrassing stuff, so here goes, and now listen. I’m sorry I tried to pull this prank on you. I thought it would be hilarious, making you crazy about Murasakibara, but it went all wrong, and this is all very stressful and weird and I sort of– I miss your weird-ass behavior from before this,” he Takao, albeit very quietly.

“You said you like my eyes earlier, I like your hands, you know,” Takao continues after a while, grabbing Shin-chan’s hand with his free one.

He feels Shin-chan using his other hand to put it on his waist, and he just keeps it there, and it’s way more intimate, in a way, than the whole hand-holding affair. That single movement of quiet possessiveness and support sets something off in Takao. And then, he just babbles on, not really caring about what sort of embarrassing thoughts he’s confessing to, and shutting off his brain, as to not think about any consequences. He can cross this bridge when he comes to it.

It kind of feels great, to just word-vomit at this person who won’t remember it in the morning. He supposes it’s because he never says what he really thinks, and rarely tells Shin-chan he appreciates him, too, and there’s also the factor of feeling guilty about making Shin-chan this weirdly vulnerable. So he babbles and babbles on, doesn’t even notice that he isn’t covering Shin-chan’s vision anymore, that is, until there are thin lips muffling any sound in him, and kissing him breathlessly. He whimpers indignantly, and drops his hands off Shin-chan’s body.

“I won’t do it like that, Shin-chan – I know I’m horrible, but you are under influence of something akin to a love potion, so I don’t think this is–” Takao stops, when Shin-chan frowns at him.

“Takao, I–”

There’s knocking and scratching at their window. They both shot their heads up, and Takao takes this as a perfect opportunity for an exit. He jumps out of the bed to open the window, and let Kuroko’s owl in.

She bores her huge, pale eyes into him as he takes the little bit of paper and detaches it from her leg. Apparently, he isn’t expected to reply, because as soon as he unfurls the paper, the owl flies out of the window. Takao starts to read, something in the back of his mind reminding him that Shin-chan is still here. He stubbornly doesn’t look up, and focuses on the short letter.

 

_Takao-kun,_

_I hope you and Midorima-kun managed to survive this long. I think the effects should be wearing off within two hours, considering Midorima-kun didn’t drink all of the potion. I also went through the process of making this potion again, and I realised what we did wrong._

_Takao-kun should be aware that this potion is very difficult to make. I was aware of the difficulty level, but never stopped to think why, so today I went to the library to find out. Turned out, this is very easily turned into a potion from Veritaserum family. I believe you know well what Veritaserum is. The only difference is that this potion makes the person to whom it’s served act on their own – they don’t even need to be prompted by questions. It sort of just turns off, what Kagami-kun refers to as “brain-to-mouth-filter”._

_Takao-kun, Midorima-kun wasn’t under any backfired love potion’s influence. He was simply saying what was on his mind._

_Kuroko Tetsuya_

 

Takao breathes shallowly, crumpling the letter in his hand. Is it really what Shin-chan thinks about him? He feels waves of heat and panic pulling at his stomach. He sort of always felt safe in that space they created in-between all the banter, teasing, and fake offences, and locking Shin-chan’s small smiles and amused glances in the privacy of his head, and between everyone always assuming they were together, but they were never meant to have it in the open, were they? This was easier this way, to never acknowledge it out loud. That’s why neither of them never spoke of this.

“Takao, come here,” Midorima says quietly, and Takao turns around.

“This wasn’t a freaking love potion,” Takao announces, eyes wide open.

He walks back to the bed, and sits on the edge, not touching Shin-chan. They look at each other for few minutes, and then Shin-chan reaches out for him, and sets his hand on Takao’s thigh, and Takao regards it steadily, without flinching. When the hand is ready to retreat, Takao breathes out loudly, grabs it, and slides onto Midorima’s bed yet again.

“So, now that I know it’s not a love potion, so I don’t feel as guilty, do you have anything more to tell me with your, what was it, filter off?” Takao grins and looks up at Midorima, who just looks unimpressed.

“I will have you know the effects wore off an hour ago, about the time you were in the middle of your monologue, Takao,” says Midorima levelly, but there’s a satisfied smirk hiding in the corners of his mouth.

“What?! You sleazy Slytherin, why didn’t you say anything?”

Takao stabs a finger at his chest accusingly. He feels he’s panicking, and he’s embarrassed, but now that they are both in the open, it somehow feels a bit… safer, too. Which doesn’t mean he’s not ready to jump up and run for his life, and it’s more his instincts than anything else that makes him shift his body and tense, and he starts to rise up to just – do anything, walk away, whatever. And then Shin-chan’s hand keeps him in place, and he feels oddly grounded, and Takao realizes in shock that he is not ashamed, and doesn’t really feel like running anymore.

Midorima huffs. “You are a Slytherin, too. And, I believe it was a perfect example of an eye for an eye,” he answers, and upon seeing Takao’s confused expression, he smiles a small smile. “I think that you should feel equally embarrassed as me. You were talking at me freely because you thought I wouldn’t remember it, so serves you right, since you impertinently tried to treat me to a love potion,” comes the explanation, and Takao rolls his eyes.

“Then how are you going to punish Kuroko for brewing the potion with me? A wrong potion at that?”

Midorima looks at him, surprise visible in his eyes. “I will have you know, and this pains me greatly, but I must admit that Kuroko is the best at Potions, out of all seventh years. He wouldn’t make this sort of mistake, so I will say I am very impressed,” Shin-chan answers, eyes focused on Takao’s face, and warm palm resting on Takao’s waist. “Not that I liked being fed with it. We will talk about it later, how foolish that was of you, I’m still shocked, but not really, that you would go that far.”

Shin-chan scowls at him, but Takao just blinks innocently. ”But I know it’s one of the most difficult potions to brew, and on top of that, he managed to change its color in order to fool you,” Midorima says quietly, placing a tentative kiss on Takao’s mouth. “Which shouldn’t be hard, considering your appalling lack of knowledge when it comes to potions,” he adds after a moment of consideration.

For the first time in ages, Takao’s response isn’t laughter. He can feel his cheeks flushing slightly, obviously the reason being the unabashed kiss, now placed by a very non-drugged Shin-chan, on Takao’s own, non-drugged lips. The comment about his atrocious potions skills goes unnoticed, since he stopped treating Midorima’s jabs as any sort of embarrassment source ages ago. He’s also still feeling guilty for messing with Shin-chan like that.

That’s why he says nothing, just nods with his face buried in Shin-chan’s chest, and tightens his hold on Midorima’s neck, as he lifts up his head to kiss him back.

He’s also going to kill Kuroko later on, he thinks lazily as he welcomes the heavy warmness of Shin-chan’s tongue flicking over his lips, for tricking both him and Midorima, be it by accident or on purpose. He will probably never find out which one it was, though he has a heavy suspicion it was the latter. Kuroko never does anything by accident.

As he feels lazy kisses being places down his neck, however, he decides to reconsider murdering Kuroko. Maybe buying him a thank-yougift will suffice, after all.

“So, is it five points  _for_ Gryffindor in this case?” Takao mumbles, voice rough and cheeks warm.

Midorima stops with the kisses for a while, and then Takao’s heart stops working for a bit, because Shin-chan is  _laughing_.

After a moment, Takao laughs with him.

 


End file.
